Vlog
by xXxShadowsOfThePastxXx
Summary: "My name is Kurt Hummel. I...don't really know why I'm starting this Vlog. My therapist said I've been having trouble expressing my emotions ever since he died...well anyway. She and my dad thought this was a good idea so...I'll give it a shot."
1. Prologue

**April 3, 2012**

"Kurt, look, I get that you don't understand why this matters to me but I need you to just respect it."

"I'd understand if you just explained it to me!"

"I have, and I won't again. If you don't understand, then you don't understand. I'm tired of going around in circles fighting with you. Seriously, it's just the same thing over and over again. Can't we just let it go? Please? I'm tired of it, really-"

"Blaine, look out!"

A deer had run out into the middle of the road. Blaine swerved to avoid it, and suddenly we're surrounded by trees as his car falls down the embankment at breakneck speed. And then, everything was dark.

****

When I woke up, the first thing I was aware of was a sharp pain radiating up my leg, and a stabbing in my side. The front of the vehicle has been pushed in on my side, and the dash is pinning my leg tight to my seat.

I look to my left, fully expecting Blaine to be as aware as I am. But he's not. There's a gash in his forehead, and immediately my heart starts to race.

"Blaine?"

No response

"Blaine, babe, wake up."

Still no response.

This is bad. Really bad. I reach my hand into my pocket, praying to every God that man ever created that my phone was still there. I can't help the tiny sob that escapes my lips when I feel the rectangular frame in the palm of my hand. Shaking, I pull it out and dial 911. I get through four rings before someone finally answers.

"911, please hold."  
>"No wait! Please we need help-" The phone clicks.<p>

Well shit. This isn't good.

Panic truly beginning to set in at the lack of emergency response and Blaine still lying unconcious beside me, I hang up and dial the first number that comes to mind.

"Hummel Tires and Lube."

"Dad..."

"What's wrong, Kiddo?"

"Dad, Blaine and I were in a car accident. My leg is stuck under the dash and he won't wake up. Oh god, Dad he won't wake up!" Just saying it makes me realize the reality of our situation. This is really bad.

"Ok, ok." He's trying to stay calm, but I can hear the panic in his voice. "Where are you?"

"I...I don't know. Somewhere in between Blaine's house and ours." My voice is starting to get really soft, and my hand is shaking the phone against my ear. Is this what going into shock feels like?

"Alright, I'm coming to find you."

"Please hurry, Dad. Oh god, please."

"I will, Kurt. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad."

The phone clicks, and Blaine and I are alone again.

****

I must have passed out again at some point, because the next thing I know I hear my Dad's voice.

"Kurt!"

"DAD!"

He appears at my door and together we're able to pry it open despite my lack of mobility from my leg.

"Dad, please, he still hasn't woken up. Please." I know how desperate I sound, but right now I don't know what else to do but beg. Beg to my Dad, beg to God even. Just begging that everything was going to be okay. Or better yet, that time could be reversed and this never would have happened in the first place.

Dad walks over to the other side of the car and pries open Blaine's door, and I immediately see his face go pale.

"Dad? What's wrong? He's going to be okay, isn't he?" For the first time that night I lift myself up a bit to peer over to see Blaine fully. There's the gash in his forehead that I noticed earlier, and his arm is at a gutwrenching angle. But when I see his chest everything turns cold, and the desperation of the situation finally sinks in.

There's a branch through the middle of his chest.

****

A/N So. Feel free to kill me now. I really don't know what inspired this bit of angst, but I decided to roll with it. This is just the prologue, I'll probably throw up the first actual chapter within the next 24 hours. I have a plan for this story, and I'm hoping to see it through to the end which, despite my 8 years of on-and-off fanfiction writing has never actually happened before. I'm taking this one seriously though and I'm actually planning to sit down and make a layout for the chapters at some point tomorrow.

Anyway, long authors note. The title will make sense within the next chapter or two.

Also, I apologize now for the use of "KB" as a section break. FFnet wouldn't read the break I originally put. Any better ideas? Let me know in a review!


	2. Chapter 1

Waiting for the ambulance to arrive was the longest time in my life. Just sitting there and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do to make it come faster, nothing I could do to make sure they came in time to save Blaine. It was absolute hell. When it did finally arrive they instantly begin working on removing us both from the wreckage. It seemed like a tedious process, but they got us out quickly enough.

Loading us onto stretchers, they carried us both onto separate ambulances.

"Wait, no, Blaine! Please, I need to be with Blaine!" I can't be away from him, I need to know what's happening.

"Son, you need to calm down. You're just going to injure yourself even more if you keep struggling like that."

I can hear that the EMTs are trying to calm me down, but it's not helping. All I can do is think of Blaine in the ambulance next to me and how I have no way of knowing if he's even alive. Dad pops up onto the truck next to me and, to my disbelief, actually agrees with the EMTs.

"Kurt, they're right. Right now we need to worry about getting you both to the hospital fast and safe so we can get you both better. Come on kiddo, calm down."

"No! I have to see Blaine! Please, let me see him!"

"We're going to have to sedate him. He can't do anymore damage to his leg."

I'm too busy trying to pry my way free of their hold to get to Blaine to notice the needle being pulled out of one of the carrying sections of the ambulance until I feel a stab in my arm.

"NO! Blaine! Please!"

But then everything's dark.

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I woke up again, this time in a white room that has that awful smell of disinfectant. I quickly remembered that the EMTs had sedated me and that I must be at the hospital now. I wondered how long I'd been out.

Dad had obviously called Carole at work and had her come and meet him here. Why they decided it was a good idea to bring Finn, I don't know. At least not now, when we have no idea what the results are going to end up being for both myself and for Blaine. My only guess is that when she informed him of what had happened he insisted on being here.

I'm still pretty out of it from the sedative they gave me, and everything's pretty fuzzy but one thing I do pick up on is that Blaine is currently in surgery to try to safely remove the branch from his chest. Just the thought that they need to do the surgery, that he's still alive, is enough for me to finally feel some sense of calm.

A doctor walks in that has apparently been in here a few times already, considering Dad and Carole are not at all surprised by his appearance. He briefly explains to my parents and I that I'm going to need surgery to repair the damage done to my leg.

They did an X-Ray while I was asleep from the sedative, and according to the doctor it showed that the bones were broken in a three separate pieces and the center piece had been pushed by the car's dash. They need to do surgery in order to pin the bones back together so that they are able to heal properly.

After briefly explaing the procedure to me, he pulls my parents aside to update them on Blaine's condition. I can't hear much since they're mumbling but the four words I do hear burn themselves into my skull, never to be forgotten.

"His chances are slim."

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My Dad and Carole decided they would act as Blaine's guardians for our hospital stay since his parents were out of town on a cruise and could not be reached. The benefit is that my parents are the first to know whenever there's a change in Blaine's condition. The downside is that they aren't telling me anything, but I can tell it's bad mainly by their solemn expressions. I get the feeling they're not telling me anything because they don't want to get me worked up before my surgery.

Surgery. That's right.

I've never had one before, and despite all my thoughts focusing on Blaine and his condition, I can still somehow find it in me to be nervous. The anesthesia, the idea of any part of my body cut up for any reason. It's all terrifying. Not only that, it will be a few hours of time where I can't read my parents body language.

There's going to be a period of time where I have no idea at all what's happening with Blaine. They aren't saying anything, but at least I can get a general idea of what's going on by their hushed conversations and the tense way they're holding their bodies. Finn is standing by my bed, just as confused as I am. They aren't telling him anything either. As far as I know, he's still in surgery. I just wish I had some idea of how serious it is.

"Kurt Hummel?" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the entry of a fifth person.

"Yes?"

"I'm Dr. Coleman, I'm the anesthesiologist. I'm here to prep you for your surgery."

"Ok…"

"Basically what the surgery is going to be is going in and setting the bones of your leg with some pins so that it can heal properly. Do you have any questions?"

"How…How long will it take?"

"Only about three hours."

"Ok…can my Dad come with me?"

"He can stay until you're asleep, yes. But he can't come in the operating room." After going over the basics, Dr. Coleman pulls out a syringe and injects it into my IV.

"That's the anesthesia. It should take effect soon. I'll leave you to fall asleep. Mr. Hummel, you can ring the nurse when he's out."

"Thank you, doctor."

After she leaves, I turn to my Dad and finally express the fears that have been nagging me since we got here.

"Dad...I'm scared. I've never had surgery before, and I don't know what's going to happen. And nobody's telling me what's going on with Blaine. Is he going to be ok? Is he awake? Is he even alive? Dad, please..." I know I'm rambling, but I also know that I'm about to be asleep for at least a few hours and I want my Daddy to just tell me something reassuring. At this point I'd take anything, even if it isn't true.

"Kiddo, everything will be okay. Eventually."

It's a lie.

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A/N: Guys, I am SO sorry for the wait! Real life kind of attacked me and got in the way, but I'm hoping this doesn't happen too often. I completely forgot about working the weekend when I promised the next update so quickly, and then with school and getting sick ontop of it...this just took a long time. And I didn't even get everything I wanted to into it, but I figured I owed you something. So here it is.

Again with the page breaks, I'm experimenting. Nothing I've tried has showed up so far but I do promise you I'm trying to get them in there. For now, my chapters are going to just look like a mess until I can find something that works, and I apologize for that. Again, if you guys have any good ideas for page breaks, let me know in a message or a review.

/rant.

Thanks for reading, guys!


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